Emails From the Muses

The muses were Greek gods responsible for all inspired art, according to Greek mythology...little did I know I would be hearing from them, as they casually dismiss everything I've done for the past four years as a cosmic accident, worthy of an apology. Apparently they do email - but they turn out to be flippant and impersonal in their approach. Here's what we got:

To all of the divinely mad, creative types, et. al, especially to al.

Due to anomalies in the cosmos at that time...
insights, Satori, apparent glimpses into Nirvana, Divine Revelations,
etc., gained during the interval Jan 2006 - to the present time - are here bye declared:
Null and Void. The "inspirations" were aberrations based on delusions secondary to a "cosmic hiccup" of a kind. Therefore: All Haiku, inspired poetry (haha), music and art or prophetic
visions (titter.... hehe) during this time frame - are revelatory of nothing in particular... and so the art created as a result is nothing but ineffable twattle. ( Gee sorry, ya thought ya had something there!) And so, do not whine to us...
Do not send us prayers, meditations, or other petitions for inspirations, it is not our fault:
new insights and enlightenment's will be issued ad lib and when "ad lib" is, remains a mystery
even to us.

Thank you for your attention. ( hehe, titter..)

The Muses
"minor gods working overtime for the arts!"

PS: From The Muses

In the interim we suggest, that if anyone criticizes you or your art,while you are waiting
on true inspiration, you may want to use this response, although, royalties may apply:
and this isn't exactly cracker jack. We usually don't apologize to mere mortals.
you know, so cut us some slack

Dear Mr/Mrs whomever -you dirty rat:


So sorry, the zippywit retort machine is currently
under repair. We have no pointed barb we can generate
for you now - however, we have a "fixit quick" order in -
and we should be up to snuff with a witty comeback
as soon as possible. In the interim. you will have to make do
with this:

"Oh yeah? (suggest long pause here...). Your mother wears army shoes!"

Sorry for the inconvenience -
but that old chesnut is all we have on standbye at the moment.

The Zippywit Comeback Service

Witty insult division
Agent: Drive bye Taunter

"always ready with a slam dunk!...well, most always"