New England Is Not Scary

New England is not scary.

We don't get tornado's in New England. Tornados are scary. I was told that a cyclone with winds of 300 mph, is not 3 times as powerful as a cyclone with winds of 100 mph. It's 9 times
more powerful. Being caught in the outer rim of a tornado is not fun; it is scary. But, we don't get them here. And please don't bring them here. When I was a kid, I thought they'd be great, but...they are tad too destructive. As adults we have another job to do.

When we go to the beach here in New England, the water is too cold. It isn't warm like it is in Florida. But there are no Great White Sharks hanging off of our shores waiting to chomp
on us...they prefer other areas. Good for them. They are scary. They are Great White man eating machines. But, we don't want them here.. They are too carnal and scary. And, they have no reason. Keep them away- please. We are doing other things. Make a movie of them. But keep them away. Leave them to the turmoils of inner cities, let them eat the drug lords...but leave them out of our vision -except as a curiosity. We mean them no harm. So, why do they trouble us?

When we go camping here in New England, we don't have to worry about angry mother Grizzly Bears. They are really scary. But we don't have them here. We have occassinal brown bears, and they are afraid of us. But we don't bother them, We've worked out our mutual issues long ago. And we let them work out there's. There's too much work to do -still -for conflicts.

There are insects that are scary in the world. Black widows and Scorpions. Scorpions are scary, and their sting is painful. But we don't have them here. The Killer Bees have not got here yet. They are scary, because when they are roused, they attack more visciously and for a wider range. Their sting is more noxious than need be... maybe because they have rhinos and tigers to contend with...they need tougher defenses. We don't have tigers here, except in zoos. We don't like exotic beasties here. Keep those stinging beast away. Or let them learn from the local bee, there's way to behave in New England. We have rabbit and deer, these weapons are not needed for them. Let them work out their imperfections elsewhere. We have a vision in New England...and these bizzare critters are disturbing.

When go hiking, there are no Boa Constrictors that will wrap themselves around us, and squeeze us...so as to scare us. Let them squeeze in the jungles.

Crockidiles? No, none here. Sorry.. they are good and fine, but but they are too primitive and ill mannered.

And in our in our lakes, no Pirrhana's will attack us en masse with knashing teeth. These animals need to work it out in another way..where ever they were born.. Seems an affront In New England. The aesthetics just aren't there. The idea of them has collded with New England sensibilties, and civility. Let them settle their problems ...but, keep these beasts at bay. We've learned too much to suffer their nescience.

We have the Rainbow Trout... that's all...and he is a philosopher, not a war monger, or a predator. He chokes on decadence, dies in polluted waters, and prefers the bubbling springs, clear lakes, and clean pure waters up north. There- he can contemplate higher things.

We don't get volcano's here. And they are very scary.
Think of Pompeii, the hot lavas rolling down the slopes - swallowing up the city, turning it's citizens to ash. These are passions we've left behind, having been through them all. Anguish and rebellion, disruptions that we would like to quell, and forget. These things are too scary. But - we don't have them here in New England. That is why we settled here. We want "scary as "pretend." We've do that at Halloween

The most scary thing geologically in the past few years, is...the Old Man in the mountain broke off. Never thought that would happen. Sad, but not scary. We felt we lost a friend, that's all.

When I go into my back yard, my dog may bark, but, he is not scary. He's more funny than scary. No Cobra lurks there that will spring up at me -fanning it's hood - to spit and threaten. And no Vampire bats will swarm down at me at night.These creatures have another dream that we don't share in New England we've grown beyond the primevil here. Let them work and grow out too..

Once while camping in Northern New England I woke to find 8 pair of "greenish yellow eyes" staring at me. Scary For a moment, I was very scared, not knowing what their business was... but, when I got our my flash light and shined it
on my guests, all I saw were four Racoons.

They weren't scary, just curious. I picked up my napsack, and continued hiking and came upon a marshy pond and a wood path across, As I walked along that plank pathway...I heard a rustling noise. just behind. I turned to look, and there, was a big furry rough animal that had jumped up on the wooden bridge I was walking on. He had the same idea. I saw him, he saw me, we eyeballed each other. And we scared each other - a little. Then he jumped back in the water, to wait his turn, he let me go on....He was just a Beaver who did not want to be botherd by me, nor did I want to rough house with him.. We both had other things to do.

And - as I hiked across...the marshy area...
many flowers, and weeds sprung up as high as my head -in the hazy heat, swarming busy points of light.. insects, bees and hornets buzzed around my face..I melded in with them, and continued walking. They didn't bother me, and I didn't bother them. I was not scary, and neither and were they, They live here in New England, and are keeping time, learning, doing their work - and so was I. There's work to be done. A cosmic mystery. We haven't solved it yet. Leave us to the problem.

When we were kids we would ask?
"Are we going to have a tornado?"
"No" our parents would say.. "We don't have those here"
"Will we see a Grizzly here"
"No...we don't get Grizzly's"
"How bout a Rattle Snake?"
"Maybe in Arizona, or Texas, but not here, this is New England, New England is not that scary"

I don't ever recall the ground opening up, swallowing cars. No skyscapers and large buildings have been shaken by major earth quakes. No Sunamis have swamped our
shores. No...huge asteroids have landed in our forests - vaporizing them - flattening trees for thousands of square miles. They land in Siberia. Keep them there. This is New England. We don't do disruptions here. We do constancy. We've done our revolutions and our wars. And we will fight another if need be. But that - is not our aim. Our aim is understanding, and resolution. Keep disruptions and intrigues away.

If you are looking for danger and excitement - scary things...New England is not your kind of place. Let's hope it stays that way. New England is a safe place...the home of Thoureau and Emerson and Frost....they know New England as..the keeper of the the seasons. The stage for grand intuitions. Trancendental wisdom may dawn here as it has in the past in them...noisy troubles cloud our view, as do scary illusions.


The poets found a place to contimplate nature and being - looking out their window and walking out of their doors. They saw perfection and mystic order. They discovered natures quatrain of seasons - in perfect form - played out every year, in New England.

New England holds the template of seasons: Summer, Winter, Spring and Fall. When we think of Autumn and it's crisp cool, it's beautiful foliage and it's haunted mystery, it's fruition, it's clarity. It happens here.. Autumn with it's clear air - flushing out the grit of summer.

When summer falls - it ends, Then autumn is here. It is always on time. In early November there's a hint of cold, a cold that is coming. A chill - and snows to brace for.. this is autumn and early winter, these seasons inspire poets, and they are here, recorded in the libraries and living outside of the library window..,

Winter, is symmetry and gentle beauty early on...peaceful pure snows fall here. But, February's cold is Arctic and commands respect. Be prepared, it suffers no fools. And when you think that winter has droned on too long, and it is finally over in April?.Don't be deceived.. April is a tease. Winter ends in May for sure. Frost knew that. There's a lingering bitterness of winter that fades reluctantly. But -May is the promise fullfilled.

Flowers blooming everywhere,sunshine is here to stay, in May, for sure. And the summer heat, and light - whatever anyone means by "Summer" - will come in June. You can count on it. Here, we rival any summer anywhere for whatever summer means. New England and the regularity of it's seasons, to keep the imagery of seasons is our job. Keep the scary things elsewhere. Let us safely keep our time - without disruption or plots. We dont want
disasters and scary things here. New England has the constancy and dependabilty of a clock.. Not the upheaval and dissonance of other places. It has been tested and tempered and has earned it's peace. It's first citizens coming here to find it, after fighting for the freedom to persue it.

We've earned our peaceful place...having fought for it in a Revolution and a civil war, and foreign wars. Now - leave us free of your nitemares..and let us keep the seasons.

Here is a picture book compiled by Besty and Tom Melvin featuring the poetry of Robert Frost and his view of New England - it explains what I mean.The secret of the poet is shared - in words and images.

No single poet expressed his experience in each season better than Robert Frost. And no area of the world manifests the demarkations of seasons better, or their meaning better - than New England, This is the home of the poets. Leave New England to keep the time and the seasons. And leave your troubles and intrigues and hot passions at home.

Or let us know if you are up to scary things...before you come. So that we can fight you if need be, trifle us and you will meet a velvet glove with a steel fist. But we may fail to take you seriously and leave for the White Mountains. There we will pay our homage to the Old Man there .who has fallen down, and laugh at your foolishness and your scary things.

© Toylanders Press International (Gary Stone). May, 2010